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Friends, as I begin this morning, I want to express my gratitude to President Irizarry, Dean Amer, the Board of Trustees, my faculty colleagues for the opportunity to give today's convocation speech. And students, it is a joy to see familiar faces, to welcome those of you who are just beginning your seminary journey this morning. May this chapter of your life be one filled with deep questions, faithful seeking, and abiding love.

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As Jose just reminded you, before joining the seminary faculty, I served nearly 15 years in congregational ministry, all of it in the same place. I loved it. In fact, my deep love for congregational ministry and my desire to equip adaptive, creative, and faithful ministers is what prompted me to say yes to this chapter of my call.

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Because we want you to be well prepared. And I want you to be well prepared not only with good theology and thoughtful exegesis, although I know that will happen here, but also with intentional practices, practices of faith that will help you meet the challenges and joys of ministry with resilient hope. In my first call, I served as a pastor for children, youth, and families, and I was responsible for all of the education, all of the mission opportunities, all of the pastoral care as it related to children, youth, and their families.

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The position felt tailor-made for me. someone who once described her call, perhaps naively, as, I want to make plays about Jesus with children forever. It's still true, and I still get to do that as part of my ministry. Thank you, Vacation Bible School and summer camp chaplaincy.

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I was newly ordained, eager, full of energy, and so I dove right in, like many of you will soon enough. I was designing curriculum, preaching, leading retreats, writing devotionals, praying with middle schoolers, leading youth fellowship, recruiting and training Sunday school volunteers, saying yes to almost everything that was asked of me, and I loved it. Seminary, this place, my SPM at First Presbyterian Church of Fort Worth had prepared me well, as I know they will you. But what I quickly learned is that there's a whole other kind of learning.

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And my professors had told me it would come, but I hadn't yet seen it. It comes only in the day-to-day, acting out of one's call. As Elaine Campbell Reed says in her book, Pastoral Imagination, you can observe and imagine what it's like to do ministry.

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Yet until you enter into it with your whole self, alongside people in everyday situations, you cannot fully know how a calling comes to life. Theory is theory until it becomes lived practice. That's why we insist that you participate in SPM or CPE or both.

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It's not because we're mean. It's because... as we know that they are essential in your formation as a faith leader. For they provide you with practice.

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Practice integrating what your professors are teaching you in your classrooms, pastoral care, biblical studies, reformed theology, into real-life situations. Even still, It's not until you move beyond that supervised practice of ministry, when you take off the training wheels of your ministry, that you fully discover the beauty and the complexity of daily ministry as a faith leader. I will never forget the day of the toilet rager.

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It began With a knock at my office door, a woman in the congregation who was faithful, deeply involved, and raising her grandchildren came in, and I could tell that she was shaken. She sat down and began to share stories of trauma that her grandchildren had experienced before they had moved in with her. voice held both grief and fierce love.

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Yes, the kids were safe now. But where had God been in all of it? She wanted to know. Her voice carried her worry.

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Her anguish and doubt about God's presence in the midst of that worry was palpable. I remember stumbling through a prayer, desperately hoping that Dr. Cindy Rigby was right when she told us in systematic theology, now y'all call it doctrines and themes, that it's okay not to have all of the answers in the face of deep suffering.

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I hope she was right. For the record, she's usually right about these complicated theological things. After that stumbling prayer, I sent out a belated volunteer e-mail about the Easter egg hunt next week, answered a question about children's ministry, about what in the world was flowering the cross, and I tried to put some shape to a sermon for that Sunday that didn't have a title, never mind any decent content. And then my phone rang.

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Pastor Sarah, my husband's been in a bike accident. He was hit by a car cover at the hospital. Can you come? I looked at my overflowing e-mail inbox.

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The Sunday school curriculum was late, again, to get to teachers. The bulletin announcements were due yesterday and not finished. My open work documents, Word documents, stared me in the face, saying, put sermon title here. Of course.

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I'll be right there. As I headed out the door, one of the men's Bible study leaders stopped me, filled with frustration. The toilet is clogged again, Sarah. What are you going to do about it?

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Easter is in just a few weeks. We cannot have a clogged toilet for all of those visitors. Thank you, Holy Spirit. I did not lose my temper right then.

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But once I got in the car, I let it all out. A clogged toilet! Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do about a clogged toilet? Why is that the pastor's job?

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And of course, the radio was on as I got into the car, so I had it on NPR, news of injustice. the daily scandal, ongoing wars. And in that moment, that clogged toilet became a metaphor for all of the things that I felt responsible for, all of the weight I felt I was carrying. I mean, come on.

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How was I supposed to go from hearing about children in trauma to an e-mail about Easter egg hunts, to a hospital call, to a bathroom emergency. What was I even supposed to say when I did arrive at the hospital? This was a parent of two of my youth.

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Who decided I was qualified to handle all of this anyway? And when, oh, when, can I set some of it down? I would learn soon enough that the man raging about the toilet that day was caring for a spouse full-time who'd recently been in cognitive decline. He was completely overwhelmed.

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And at the same time, time in the background of that day with the clogged toilet, there was tension, palpable tension, amidst some of the church leaders. It was aimed at another staff member. I could feel it any time someone raised a seemingly innocent question, designed to catch them in a mistake or to say just the wrong thing.

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The anxiety in the church's system was at full throttle. I share this day not to discourage you, I promise, but to be honest with you. Congregational ministry is beautiful. It is sacred.

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You have the privilege of accompanying people through the deepest pains and the most exhilarating joys of their lives. You are entrusted with the mysteries of our faith, to share with a world that desperately craves divine mystery, awe and wonder. There is nothing quite like it.

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You have the privilege You have the responsibility to speak God's word into people's lives. In the public sphere, from the pulpit, in your daily living. It's holy.

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It's weighty. And congregational ministry is complex and sometimes really really, really difficult. There are seasons where you'll face resistance.

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Often it has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with what someone is carrying. We heard that phrase often in seminary: It's not about you. Wise words. from beloved and wise professors.

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Phil Helsel will remind you, no doubt, that when you get that all caps e-mail that was a reply all to the church board, it's not about you. When the flower guild insists that the floral arrangement must be on the communion table for the most visibility, and passive aggressively continues to place it there every Lord's Day, even though you have had many meetings talking about where the proper placement of the flowers are in the sanctuary so that the bread and cup can be prominent on the table. But they keep showing up at 10.50 when you're getting ready to walk down the aisle.

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Not about you. That helps. I needed that reminder on the toilet rager day.

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As Peter Steinke, church systems expert, says, the church is holy, set apart, set aside for God's purposes, and yet the church is ordinary, subject to human ends. It is not that our metaphors or ideals are false, but that we fail to realize that the church functions as an emotional system. I'll say it this way. People don't lose their peopliness when they come to the doors of the church or to the seminary classroom.

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Inside the emotional system of the congregation, Clergy find themselves often exposed to vicarious trauma and often exposed to pastoral overload. So you can imagine, without healthy, daily practices that sustain one's spirit and soul, this repeated exposure will lead to exhaustion, even burnout. I read several different studies.

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They all have competing numbers. It depends on which ministers are being asked. But one study done by Duke Divinity School in 2016 revealed that ministers experience similar levels of emotional exhaustion as EMTs and social workers. They're just a little bit below police officers and teachers.

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While there's truth that many times the conflicts that we face or the issues that are raised are not about you, I've also learned through personal experience, through the experience of colleagues and other studies of ministry, that taken too far, it's not about you, becomes dangerous. I, others I know and love, have carried it all the way to the edge of burnout. That phrase, it's not about you, became my excuse to push past my limits, to sacrifice the needs of my family, to neglect myself and my spiritual life.

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It felt noble, it felt faithful, but it was eroding my well-being. And I'll admit to you today, at least one of you knows this, that I let it happen to me more than once, not learning the lesson the first time. It's as if we think that this is what Jesus said, or Jesus meant, excuse me, when he said, I came not to be served, but to serve. As if that means we are never to stop serving.

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That's not faithfulness. It is, however, a recipe for burnout, dressed up as piety. Now, there is no doubt that the call to serve God and neighbor, as faith leader, as pastor, as public theologian, demands much of us and requires courage and risk. Especially

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In a world where beloved starve in Gaza, while here in the U.S., palettes of life-saving nutrition languish in warehouses. Where refugees seek safety and find hostility. Where floods destroy homes and lives, and the list goes on. These realities of our world, places of brokenness, pain, trauma,

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isolation, hatred, injustice. I think it's why it matters so much how you care for your own spirit, your own soul, your own self as you engage in the work of ministry. In a recent book called Caring for Clergy, Katie Camo and Thad Austin say, God calls clergy to care for the mission of the church. Their support and well-being matters to God because of the incarnational nature of ministry.

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And as many have reminded us, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Episcopal priest Kelly Swanland says it this way, ministry that depletes you to the point of collapse. Well, it's evident. It's not sustainable.

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It's not about you. That only helps after you've built habits of spiritual practices, rhythms of rest, renewal, and restoration. Then you can respond in love rather than react when anxieties get high or conflict raises her head. Because she will.

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The first time I experienced burnout in ministry, It manifested in physical illness that kept me away from work for an entire month. We had two children at home under the age of four. My husband and I were both in ministry.

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He serving in hospice care, me serving in congregational ministry. And these demands did not follow a routine schedule. And I will confess to you now, I had no habitual practice of daily spiritual renewal. None.

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Sure. I prayed. Daily, in fact. I read scripture.

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Every time I had to preach a sermon or lead a Bible study, I was sitting in worship, leading worship, every single solitary Lord's Day. But in that particular season, I did none of it to sustain my own spirit. I did all of it for the people in my congregation, not for my soul.

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So my friendship suffered. My creativity suffered. I was a shell of myself. My body kept the score, and she gave out.

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It started as a common cold. It turned into a terrible bout of pneumonia that I could not kick. So I stayed home for a month and watched Orange is the New Black over and over again. I told you before, I found myself there more than once.

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Don't do that. So this summer, as I was thinking about you all, as I was thinking about you, and wondering about ways to equip you for sustainable ministry, I read a book that maybe you have read, Burnout, Unlocking the Key to the Stress Cycle. It's written by sisters, that's right. Emily and Amelia Nagoski.

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One is a psychologist and the other is a lifelong musician. They helpfully remind us, or remind me at least, of the distinction between stressors and stress. Stressors are the class that's at 1 o'clock this afternoon. The deadline, the conflict, the injustice, those are the stressors.

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But stress is your body's physiological response. And when that stressor is gone, after you've taken your first doctrines and themes class later this week, or pastoral care this morning, or whatever it is, that stress stays in your body. Stays right there, compounding on itself every day. just like interest on a credit card, until you release it, until you complete the stress cycle.

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So when I finally finish this convocation speech that I've worried about for too long, and I no longer wake up in an anxious panic that I've said nothing that's meaningful to you, that stress will still live right here. until I do something to release it. So just take a second. And when you have a potential stressor that you're thinking about, just name it like popcorn.

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Just say it out loud. No stress, no stressors? The Army. Yeah, the Army.

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What else? Finances. Finances. AI.

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AI. Balance, finding balance. Meetings. Food.

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We could add to that list what we read on the news this morning. We could add to it worries that we have about what's happening in our nation or internationally. What's happening to loved ones? The list is enormous.

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Now, when we add to these stressors our own personal lives, trauma that perhaps we have not yet processed or even realized, the potential challenges that face one each day, we can see. how burnout and depletion can lurk just around the corner. I think the Nagoski sisters are on to something, but I think that it's theological and not just stress cycle release. Because I think that at least three of the practices they lift up are spiritual practices, ones that deepen our connection to and love of God, neighbor,

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and creation. They named seven ways of completing the stress cycle, and they argue that they need to happen every single day. What does Paul say? Pray without ceasing?

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We're going to talk about 3 today. Motion, connection, creativity. These 3 practices allow us to attend to that stress that compounds in our bodies. And when we engage in movement, connection, or creativity, we return our bodies and brains to a state where they can think and respond effectively.

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Colton, you're in luck because the thing I needed isn't here. That means we don't have to do the Energizer, but it's behind me. Oh, we do get to do it, Colton, sorry. So I invite you to stand up.

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Now, the Presbyterian Church, of which I am a proud part, has a long youth ministry tradition called energizers. And this is something you either love or you just abide. They're goofy dance moves done as a group. Think of it like Zumba, except nobody has to be good at it.

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And they're done to connect people to one another and to allow barriers to drop just a little. So if you know this one, just... Join me. I'm not going to take the time to teach it this morning, but we're going to do it together.

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Book of Revelation, chapter seven. Yeah, you can even dry it out really easy, I promise. Yes, sir. They shall hunger no more, neither shall they thirst anymore For God shall wipe away Every tear from their eyes Get ready for the revolution See you, Rachel.

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Go down. Do you want a revolution? Do you want a revolution? I'm here to walk.

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Excellent job. Have a seat. So, science affirms the power of an energizer. Theology affirms the power of movement as well.

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Releasing stress, bringing joy, reducing barriers between us. God created us as embodied beings. Play is sacred.

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You don't have to take yourself so seriously here. Yes, this is serious work, but you can come at it lightheartedly. Movement grounds us in our bodies. and it allows our brains to process what we've experienced.

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And connection. Now, congregational ministry thrives on connection. You're going to spend a lot of time with a lot of people. That's not the connection that I'm talking about that you need daily to release the stress cycle.

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Look around you. Look to your left and right behind you. Don't forget about the balcony people. These folks right here in the chapel today will likely become some of your most trusted colleagues in ministry.

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One of mine is here today. Some will become one of your most trusted friends. Whether your paths both continue in ministry or not.

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So focus on them in this season. They will pay dividends in your life and ministry from this day on. You can ask me later about post-session whiskey or PSW. That's our clergywomen cohort whose care has sustained each one of us through the best and the worst seasons of ministry.

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Much like a FaceTime call with a loved one, cultivating the habit of daily prayer deepens our connection with the author of life. This is beyond the collect prayer that you will learn in worship class. This is not just when grandma asks you to pray at the family meal because now you are the official family prayer person. If you weren't before, welcome.

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This is not the Bible reading that you do to prepare for the BCE or the next sermon or the Christian education class you're teaching. This is your personal daily rhythm of prayer and study of Scripture. You won't find it later. A promise.

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Find it now. Many of you came with a rich, personal, devotional life. Keep going. If you're like me and you came to seminary just after college and you had not yet built it, work on it now.

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It won't get easier when you move into whatever's next. Creativity. I forgot to bring it, but I'm learning how to knit, and I'm really bad. All I can do so far is cast on.

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I can't even make a knit stitch. It doesn't help that I'm left-handed. But one day, maybe by the end of 2026, I'll have a scarf or a potholder or something to show for it. I've had a mental block about being a creative person for as long as I can remember.

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Maybe you have too. Maybe there's a creative person in your family Like my sister and my daughter, who create gorgeous sketches. on the backs of bulletins in five minutes that teach themselves to sew, that get lost in the flow of artistic expression.

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That's never been me. So I told myself to lie that I'm not creative. That just doesn't apply to me. Friends, that's a lie.

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I write sermons. I can find ways to immediately connect you with one another through goofy dance moves. It turns out all of that is creativity. Creativity helps us process pain.

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Imagine hope and remember who and whose we are. Brene Brown says in The Gifts of Imperfection that unused creativity doesn't just disappear. Kind of like that stress cycle. It lives within us, neglected until it's expressed either neglected to death or suffocated by resentment and fear.

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We're called to be meaning makers. We're called to help others make meaning of their lives. We belong to a creative God. I charge you

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to choose one of these practices every single day. Move a little, connect with a loved one, create something, find time to pray and read Scripture for its sake and yours. Even when you don't feel like it, especially when you don't feel like it.

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The world needs faith leaders who are courageous and tell the truth about injustices in our world and root themselves deeply in Christ's hope and joy. So as you learn, as you grow, as you construct and deconstruct, may seminary also be a season of building, building daily rhythms and practices that enrich and sustain your life and spirit, so that as you leave this place one day, you have the capacity, the bandwidth to encourage, accompany, and nurture others as well, as Christ nurtures, accompanies, and encourages you. Thanks be to God.

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Amen.