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Good evening. It is a profound honor for me to stand here in this sacred space, this distinguished seminary with renowned lecturers. So imagine the horror. When I looked at my script that I printed and

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I saw that I printed two different sermons. So in the middle of the script, I was like , oh, this is a new sermon. So I was like, oh well, um, way

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to make a great first impression, and I asked Doctor Allen my conundrum, and she really helped resolve that issue and through the amazing hospitality of the staff , the faculty, and the planning team, I

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have, I have found my bearing again, so I stand here and you will only hear one sermon tonight. So thank you so much for the invitation . It's such a lovely um honor to be here

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with you and I pray that the spirit may speak and touch all of us in some way tonight through and even in spite of me so join me in prayer. Oh God, may the words of my

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mouth and the meditations of our hearts lead us closer to your truth and your love. So that your message may be heard and lived with joy. Amen . When I flew home to visit my father on

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Christmas Day at his nursing home. It didn't take a second before he started yelling. And that brought back old memories of pain in my childhood where spaces of safety and peace were so rare. So I

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felt that anger rise in my spine and neck, and I had to step out of the room to calm myself down, take a breather and put some distance from the disappointment that nothing had changed. A

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few moments later, I watched him being wheeled out of the room and I watched his back. Lonely Shriveled Depressed As his, as my nieces played his favorite carols in the dining area. And as I

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watched his back, I felt the tears prick my eyes. Tears of sadness tangled with compassion. And tears of anger entwined with shame about my inability to love him more. Then a nursing aid, a

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tall black man in royal blue uniform with dreads tied back. Came and playfully poked my dad's left shoulder from behind. And so my dad looks back. And finds me awkwardly standing there. And so I'm

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like, look, and so my dad looks back and this man is giving him the widest grin with the purest joy and mischief, saying hi. And then my dad erupted in laughter for the briefest moment

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. It was such a rare moment that we haven't seen since his diagnosis of dementia. That moment wasn't everything. But it was something. And it mattered enough to stick with me. This interaction reminds me

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of how impossible it can feel. To navigate a fractured world. Where old wounds fester and emotional landmines await left and right. Perhaps like many of you . Fear and anger rise up my spine whenever I

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check the news and social media these days. It's been a roller coaster. I started or I really try to begin this year with some positivity. I distributed these gold stars to my congregation members and we

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all put our intention words to ground us for the year and I was like, yes, this is going to ground me for the year. And then on MLK Day, we celebrated, we had a

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wonderful celebration, listened to MLK's inspiring words. And then it just went downhill really fast from there. Relentless news of dismantled protections, dismissal of public health , shutdown of DEI initiatives, pardoned insurrectionists, hiring

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unqualified criminal officials just to name a few. Each new blow lands before we can catch our breath, leaving us overwhelmed and unsure where to begin and how to respond and how to do this strategically and effectively

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without losing our minds. This tension reminds me a bit of the Israelites in Nehemiah's story. The Israelites returned to a city in ruins, carrying the weight of exile and the uncertainty of how to rebuild,

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where to begin. Their situation was a mix of exhaustion, grief, and a worn down faith. The timing of Nehemiah 8 is significant in that it says the 7th month in Israel's liturgical calendar marked a

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sacred time. It was a sacred time of reflection and renewal, so Rosh Hashanah invited repentance, the day of atonement offered forgiveness, and the feast of Tabernacles celebrated God's provision in the wilderness. Now,

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After generations of exile, many had never, likely never experienced these rituals or heard. The law read aloud. So when Ezra begins to read the scriptures , the people weep. No, I don't think

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anybody here wept when the scriptures were read. So it may be hard to relate to that emotional reaction to the reading of the law. I mean, when's the last time you were moved to tears by

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Leviticus? But think about the rituals, the people , the words or the places that really ground you . I don't know what it is for you in our church we have, uh, in our church

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we have a significant demographic of LGBTQIA community and so the words that we repeat every Sunday at the beginning of our worship is, I mean there are other words, but most of all bienvenidos, people of

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God, welcome home. And that means so much to so many of our members where they could not find a welcoming home. So I wonder what that . Grounding ritual or core. Practice might be for

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you that if it were to be taken away imagine years of separation, trauma and loss picture coming back to a home you no longer recognize the walls are crumbled, the space is unfamiliar, but you gather

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anyway to reclaim the pieces of rubble and try to rebuild. The Israelites mourned for everything that was lost . And they were yearning for what they could never truly restore. And they were holding on to the

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delicate of delicate hope of rebuilding from the ruins. And then Ezra tells him something completely unexpected as the people are weeping. He says, go home, enjoy rich fatty foods and sweet drink. I paraphrase

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, eat that cookie, drink that latte, boba tea. Share what you have with those who have none. Because that's what you're gonna need to make it through. That's what you're gonna need to survive

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. The joy of the Lord is your strength. At first this call to joy might seem strange, even absurd, maybe a selfish in the midst of terrible grief. After all, I am not a

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fan of toxic positivity. But perhaps Ezra understood that joy isn't an absence of grief. Joy doesn't ignore the rubble, but Joy chooses to feast. Anyway , To share anyway. Because joy is resistance,

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and I think the black. Civil rights activists, poet, philosopher Audre Lorde understood this well when she said, quote, caring for myself is not self-indulgence it is self preservation and that is an act of

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political warfare. She spoke these words for those whose joy the world seeks to erase. Those carrying the weight of systemic oppression and discrimination and in a world that denies one's dignity, joy is resistance. It

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is an act of political warfare. This brings me back to my father's story and the nursing aid. Sometimes we need others to help us find joy when we are too encumbered, exhausted by the weight of

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our own trauma or experiences of oppression. When I couldn't love my father the way I wish I could . This nursing aid brought him joy because he wasn't weighed down by the weight of our complicated family past

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history. In that moment, his small gesture created a spark of light amidst the heaviness and so never underestimate the power of your small actions. And especially if you have that privilege. To do that for

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others. Who are more vulnerable, that is a gift. And never underestimate that gift. You know , when I was with my family over Christmas, I realized again, the importance of community to survive

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difficult times. My family and I discussed and cried about how hard it was to keep caring. When we didn't receive that care back in a way that meant or helped us. We cried about how hard

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it was, how human we are, and how difficult it is to love. When, when it seems like all we get in return is more pain . And so, I confess to them. Here

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I am, I'm a pastor. I talk about loving other people all the time and then I come home and I can't love my own family. And I was so ashamed of that. But when I

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told them, I was so touched by the grace they offered to me. It's OK. We can only do what we can do and when you can't , I will step it up and when I can't

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, you will step it up. We have to just take turns we have to be there for each other. And so we all pitched in to do what we could. We also found medicine and laughing

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at the absurdity of it all, of not being able to find really any silver lining. And you know this is what joy looks like when circumstances are not gonna get better or. Not gonna get better

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anytime soon anyway. I love that joy shows up to share the load and make the unbearable just a little more bearable and just a little less lonely. So friends, how do we follow the wisdom of

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Ezra and Audre Lorde? I say We can start by cultivating our joy. This is an idea I received from another clergy, and it was to make a list of all the good things in your life

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. Big or small, even the funny, silly , unimportant things. Now, for a serious person like me who likes to doom scroll. This is a challenge. So, Maybe you make a list

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, maybe you found a great parking spot. Maybe it's the joy of finding a perfectly ripe avocado. Or the satisfaction of a good solid poop. You know that's important. I generally don't make these kinds

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of lists, but I think I've come to the point that I need this. And maybe you want to take up this challenge if you feel like that . Because I'm trying to get to the point where

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I have enough joy in my bank and the capacity to commit to action because right now asking me to do some people write like 1010 things to do and I'm like uh no just give me one. So

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, so that's why I'm gonna give you an advice , unsolicited advice. That I hope it's digestible. If you have enough joy in your bank and the capacity, commit to one action, one action.

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Share that feast with someone who needs it. We can't do everything. We really cannot. But we can do something and perhaps your next step is to , well, for me, I'm, I'm looking

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out, how do we support undocumented families? How do we, how do I check in with local leaders to learn what's being done? How can my church or school create sanctuary spaces? How will we

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protect and advocate for undocumented folks and LGBTQIA community? We do not have to do it all, but we can take that imperfect next step. You know , someone once said inaction breeds doubt and fear.

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And action breeds courage and confidence. So think about one thing. Friends Ezra called his people to celebrate , to eat, to drink and share because joy is an act of resistance. It's taking the next

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step like Abraham gazing at the stars in the sky . And trusting in God's promises when there was nothing there. Like Doctor King, who said, the world is all messed up. The nation is sick

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. There's trouble in the land. But I know somehow that only when it is dark enough. Can you see the stars? Friends, may the stars of Epiphany remind us there is fierce beauty in the

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darkness, and morning always comes after night. And when the world looks at us, this ragtag group of people holding hope with duct tape and a worn down faith, may they see a people of resilience

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, of faith. And of joy dancing beneath the